I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
