5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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