Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
