Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
