Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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