I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
