Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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