I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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