Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
