Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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