My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He did a backflip because drugs
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