Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
