so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
