PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
