from now on my penis is your penis
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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