No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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