Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
