Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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