ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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