38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
