Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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