I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
