i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
