the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
