i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
