it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
