I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
