found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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