I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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