she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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