have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Im part way to drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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