On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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