it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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