I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
