Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
