But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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