dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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