Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize