I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
