Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
