i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
