Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
