She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
