suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sober January is a disaster.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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