Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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