There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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