I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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