Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
