you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
