and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
