OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
