You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
