I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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