I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
