Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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