Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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