like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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