My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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