it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
