I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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