Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
